Another day - another dollar
Today I sat down with pen and paper and tried to analize what is keeping me down for such a long time, besides my downswing. Poker gods, still hate me and I still get dealt rubbish, or loose AKvsAK, today was a very short session, I ended up playing Badugi and just spent two hours folding my cards.
So among poker itself there are a lot of things I wrote down, that are either not sattisfiyng to me or make me tilted right away.
1) I quit drinking alocohol and smoking not long ago and it's kinda hard to just quit and not work with it. I thought, I can just walk it out, but it doesn't work this way. Need vitamins, people with same opionion around and more phisical activity, while rehabing.
2) My relashionship with my girlfriend. I spend little time with her and this is becoming a problem for both of us.
3) I always try to spend 100% of my time and emotions on the subject of interest - this is the way I am and I've always been like that, but it really screws up all the other things and become tricky sometimes, when you just can't switch to something new. Hope you know what I mean.
4) I stopped working on my game. Once the downswing started, I just stopped, because it's was hard to do so.
5) This quarantine really effected my life, since my main job is to export goods from China. I can't downshift and go get a job, this will hurt me even more. Another thing - this quarantine effected everyone around me, they either crazy about wearing masks, or just having a beer everyday talking about politics or other stuff, they were never interested in before, now think, they can after watching a few youtube videos.
6) Youtube especially and other social media - it just sucks! I just can't find anythign to watch, besides cyber sports, which is not really intersting when you are over 30. 95% of videos I get recommended are total trash and get "don't show me again" option chosen right away. Poker videos - I watched almost everything, but really old stuff. I wonder who got the idea to rerun old tourneys with new commentators - this is the worst idea ever, fire that guy!
There were also some personal things I wrote and don't feel like sharing yet. Hopefully I will manage to get things together soon.